Today is 9/11/11

And I am seeing and reading all of my dear friend's posts and blogs about what they remember 10 years ago; Where they were and what they were doing when those towers came down. A lot of these stories have touched me in ways I didn't expect; Not because I don't have a similar story to tell, but because now, 10 years later, I'm a mom. I can't quite explain it yet, but my 7 month old baby Levi has changed me in ways I could never have prepared for. My heart aches when my baby is hurt, and life seems so scary to think that hundreds more mom's hearts are aching today because of what happened 10 years ago in New York.

When I was pregnant with Levi, a dear friend told me that after he is born a piece of my heart will live outside of my body for the rest of my life. I did not know then the amount of times I would reflect on those words after he was born. There is a piece of me that has been broken off and is now a free agent in this world. A free agent who will grow and learn and eventually go off on his own to do something great with his precious life. It takes a lot of strength for me to prevent my mind from imagining my own son, my own heart, being in the midst of a tragedy like 9/11; From imagining a police officer calling me with painful news about my little one. Right now, I would be content to keep him in a bubble...to keep him safe my my home, in my husband and my arms forever...To keep him from the evils of this world, the bad people who will hurt him someday, the feelings of failure he will have when he doesn't get the job, or make the cut. I would only show him the good after I have sifted through the evil within the four walls of my house. But I know I can't do that. I know that soon he will get his first glimpse of evil, and my little heart will come to me and ask me what to do. I don't know what words I will use to calm him, but I do know that as long as that little piece of my heart is living inside of him, I am committed to making sure he knows that evil can be overcome with love. Evil can be overcome by tenderness and compassion, and evil will not overtake him as long as he has love. And he will be loved.

I have never been good with words, but a blogger I am aspiring to be. Just as my dear friends are posting and blogging about their memories of this day 10 years ago, I want to blog about my life Now. I want to remember 10 years from this day, 9/11/11, that though there is tragedy in the world, there is also new life, new hearts, and new things to love...because we will all overcome.